"Untitled"

I'm just going to start writing, kind of a freestyling, but with no rapping I hope.

I purposely didn't put a subject to begin writing tonight because I just need to get my thoughts down via this blog. Crazy how technology enables us to communicate our thoughts for all the free world to hear. I can read people's blogs from back home in San Diego, or friends traveling abroad, or even people I've never met but follow their blogs anyway due to their rich content that is God-focused. Its nuts. Maybe i've got patrons that read my blog that have never met me. Crazy right?

Life is so weird. There have been times in my life when I feel I've got something all planned out... and then it comes crashing down. This week has been interesting in that way. I've hit a wall I think. Sometimes I feel convicted that I've been going through the motions of life and not really committing myself to His will... a better word would be submitting to His will. I have no clue what I'm doing after college. That is about the only certainty I have right now. Ironic isn't it?

I've been praying lately a simple prayer: "Lord, I want to do your will and your purpose." Really simple... yet decidedly difficult to act upon. Just writing this right now something has dawned on me... I'm not praying for action, I'm not praying for Him to build me up and equip me to do His will. Maybe that's why I've been feeling a little stagnant? Only He knows fully.

I feel as though this post has a bit of a negative tinge to it, but that's not the case at all. Throughout my internal wrestlings of uncertainty, I feel as though God is really working in my life with the simple things. Everything needs to go through Him. Everything. It's hard though. I think recognizing it is vital, but putting it into action is even more so.

One of the blogs I enjoy reading recently had a post concerning if today was our last day on earth and if we knew that, how radically different our days would be. Can you imagine that? I know I would tell my parents I loved them again and again and again and because of their influence I can be the man that I am today, I would tell my sister she is absolutely precious and I love love love her sooo much, I would say thank you more often to people helping me at the grocery store or if someone helps me out at work, I would be so, so much more thankful about who God placed in my life to lead me spiritually, and most of all, I would be thanking God for the gift of being put on this earth. If today was my last day, I would want to glorify God to the fullest... but shouldn't that be something of a priority everyday? Luckily He loves me regardless, but I've been praying for his spirit to just wrap me up and take me where He wants me to be.

Just as spontaneous as this post began, it will continue to be so as it is now coming to a close. Love you all so much!